Amicable breakup

I want to celebrate my brief, but non-the-less loving union with this Gucci backpack before I send it, well, packing. You see, as much as I L.O.V.E dropping a dollarydoo on a fancy-pants piece of fashun, I have champagne taste on a beer budget. My solution is reselling.

While it served me a great deal of purpose to have this glorious backpack in my arsenal of wallet carrying vessels, it is time to move on.

A bit like an amicable breakup, I am sadly bidding farewell to this masterful piece of cowhide and gold.  I’ll never forget you Gucci, the first backpack I’ve loved since my year four Spider Man number – what an honour it has been.

Wearing: Understated Leather jacket similar here, Abrand jeans, Asos crop similar here and Gucci backpack.

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Like only animal print can

As a cold blooded creature and maybe even a medical step behind in the evolutionary process – see jawbone for reference –  I am at one with the animals.  Big, little, flea infested and all, I clearly have Bindi Irwin blood pumping through my icy veins.

Harnessing my innate animalistic spirit, I have translated my love for the animal kingdom into my sartorial choices – this Rat and Boa leopard number meeting all of the requirements. It’s glorious silky goodness is warming my snake-like heart like only animal print can.

Do yourself and Bindi a favour and get your greasy grubbers on this bad boy ASAP.

Wearing: Rat and Boa ‘Valentina’ dress & Balenciaga earring.

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god bless body hair jokes

J’adore silk. There is quite simply nothing as wonderful and fulfilling as the feeling of silky smooth clothing on your body – made all the more wonderful when nothing else on your body is silky smooth (god bless body hair jokes).

This euphoric feeling has been bought on by my new purchase – this Bamba swim beauty. An old season favourite, I managed to grab before it was too late. This divine boob coverer has me feelin’ allllll of the feels.

With an open back, sensible v-neck front and straps at the back to keep your modesty your own, this garment is a winner, winner, chicken dinner.

WEARING: Bamba Swim similar found here and here and here and here. Jewels by Amber Sceats found here and here and here and here.
PHOTOS: Anastasia Borrelli

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gluten products

I’m a tee-shirt junkie. Shockingly I don’t wear thigh-high boots and leather all the time – what a damn rip-off! Much of the time I’m sat in front of the telly, scoffing stale gluten products with pyjama pants made for 5 foot 3’ midgets. So when I can bring both of my worlds together, my cankle-bearing, ¾ pyjama pant wearing self and my fashion-loving alter-ego, it’s a beautiful and bloody rare occasion.

This Balenciaga bad boy ticks all of the boxes, including the biscuit box where my glutinous products are housed. Comfortable enough to appease my inner sloth, yet edgy and totally versatile enough for the aesthetic gremlin that occupies half of my brain.

Yay for Balenciaga, yay for 5 foot 3’ midgets and yay for gluten products.

WEARING: Balanciaga tee found here, Jbrand jeans similar found here, Chanel runway suede heels pearl pumps.
PHOTOS: Anastasia Borrelli

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Frosty Fruit

I heart the Winter Olympics.

There’s nothing as cathartic as sitting my hind quarters down, grabbing a Frosty Fruit and placing empty bets with Dad on which Athlete of Russia will be caught doping next – apparently all of them. What’s not to like?

When the curtains closed on the spectacle that was, I fell into a sad state of lowly depression. Not even smashing a Frosty Fruit or trying to cash in those bets I dropped with fazher could cheer me up.

Out of sheer desperation and in dire need of a pick-me-up, I turned to the only thing I knew would heal me – retail therapy. It was there, in the depths of the interwebs that I found the band aid I needed.

This glorious With Jean number is not sartorially satisfying, but it’s as patriotic as an American – green and gold baby! Gold medal for this frock.

Wearing: vintage clutch similar found here, With Jean Camille dress, Front Row Store mules similar found here.
Photography:  Anastasia Borrelli

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Life-giver

I’ve recently experienced a number of life-changing experiences that have completely blown my enormous brain to bits – all courtesy of my life-giver, and the individual responsible for my crass sense of ‘umour, Ma. With such a powerful force of all-encompassing knowledge behind me, it seems only fair to pass on my newly-established wisdom on such worldly matters, so, grasshoppers, listen the hell up.

Last Wednesday, said life-giver and avid lover of cream of the ice variety, bought home a Wagon-Wheel icecream sambo. Yes, yep it was better than you could ever have dreamt of – truly life altering even.

Rolling with her momentum, Mother decided to drop another figurative bomb in the form of a dog pram. My 6-year-old pupperino, entirely healthy aside from his prominent position on the spectrum, was unable to walk around the block without the help of a pram, according to Mother. If you’ve ever experienced such an event you too, can attest to the cocktail of excitement, confusion and revelation it can leave you with. Again, truly life alerting.

Last and certainly not least, Mama bear, the woman who wears nothing but clacky mules, polka dots and colours named after vegetables, taught me a bloody lesson about fashion. The woman, the myth, the legend herself bought me a dress that didn’t result in a rash or a trip to the Vinnie’s charity bin. The revelation, as well as the dress itself, has blown my understanding of my mother’s capabilities and worldly knowledge – the old gurl still got it.

Dress featured in images below, Wagon-Wheel can be seen protruding from under dress and dog pram incident to be released to the public at my own discretion.

Wearing: Verge girl dress found here, Amber Sceats headpiece, vintage necklaces.
Photos: Anastasia Borrelli

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Flying Saucers

My jublies, juicy, juicy mosquito bites, whatever you so care to call ’em, have enjoyed a troubled relationship with bathers for years now. Aside from the asymmetry and varying cup sizes, my flying saucers have to compete for attention with the unsightly breasty overhang that occurs in the underarm and back regions. Positively unsightly.

It comes as a rare and very welcome surprise when I do, in fact, find a pair of swimmers that bring my breasticles and their generous overhang together in a warm, supportive embrace. Girls or tit-bearing organisms, listen up. Our friends at Bamba swim have us sorted with a low-key Mary-Kate and Ashley miracle. Underwire, support AND comfort – what the hooters?!

Get em’ here. Wearing Sixtysix silk scarf similar found here, The In Coming ‘Astro’ necklace found here.
Photos: Anastasia Borrelli

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Tax Inclusive

Some old bloke once spat something about the best things in life being free, but damn man, I beg to differ. Aside from my eccentric ‘rents and the fur children, my favourite things in life are tax inclusive, have a regular retail price and hang proudly in my wardrobe. Yep, de clothes I yarn on about so much – turns out I’m rather fond of ’em.

This lil’ jacket is no exception, with a deadly combination of velvet and gold, it’s a partnership not to be overlooked. I gotta admit, this devilishly good-looking shoulder cover even rivals my ‘rents in the pecking order of loved ones – although fur babes remain forever untouchable, duh.

Wearing: Zara blazer, similar found here and here, Jbrand jeans similar found here and here, Gucci belt found here, Are You Am I top found here.
Photography: Anastasia Borrelli

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Denim Erotica

Attempting to create an interesting dialogue on the joys denim can bring into our solemn lives, is like writing on the joys of crinkle-cut chips – bloody obvious. It doesn’t take me, or captain obvious (also me) to deliver a number of reasons why you should be donning double denim for the rest of your days – you already know it.

What I can provide, besides the blaring obvious (seemingly a specialty of mine), is a denim love story. A storied tale of romance, love and denim – all of the makings of a great erotic novel, am I right? For a depiction of said fairytale love story, find images below (no erotica i promise, your eyes are safe).

Wearing: The Fifth Label ‘Sentiment’ dress found here, The Incoming ‘Astro’ necklace, similar found here, Acne Studios leather clutch, similar found here and Le Specs ‘Last Lolita’ sunglasses found here.
Photography: Anastasia Borrelli 26175322_10155566280344130_518764065_n26135154_10155566279819130_2023034728_n26134990_10155566280284130_55587293_n26176086_10155566280129130_1858876078_n