Mildly obnoxious

I have gently touched upon the art of diversion previously, but very much feel the need to do so again. You see, I am a 5 foot 11 tomboy with bad ankles and the clumsy gene marinating in my genetic makeup. It won’t come as a huge surprise when I say this little giraffe can’t walk in heels to save her or her ankles lives.

So when it comes to purchasing heels, I employ one tactic and one tactic only – make ‘em colourful enough to distract your audience. Hence the bright green, mildly obnoxious boots I have gone for here.

Shine them in direct sunlight and they’re enough to blind even your most critical enemy. Make ‘em bright and bold enough to avert the eye from your rod-up-the-ass walking technique and Viola! Mission accomplished.

Wearing: Thrifted blazer similar found here, Asos boots, Vintage scarf similar found here.

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Girl Code

We’re all aware of girl code, the fundamental rules of the female bond. These strict rules are a universal language and predominately known to apply to the peen and veen, in the categories of partners and exes. Yet one element of girl code often falls neglected, clothes code and don’t you forget it. While I admit, I regularly preach the virtues of clothes code, I was recently, shamefully guilty of violating the sanctity that is.

On a retail therapy expedition with one of my best and fairest, I broke all of the rules and planted the seed of friendship resentment – I broke clothes code. In a distressing turn of events, said b&f came out on top with a generous cluster of coat hangers, while I was left red-faced and empty handed.

Tempers flared and after a troubling changing room showdown, I lashed out and did the unforgivable, I asked to buy the same top. GIRL CODE ALERT. In a show of unbridled generosity Lou said yes and here it is boys, this rugged denim crop. Worth it you ask? Yes? No? I don’t know? She still brings it up when she’s drunk, but time heals all wounds, right?

Wearing: Zara denim crop similar found here, here and here, Asos denim jeans similar on sale here, Louis Vuitton Epi Twist bag found here, thin rats tail hair similar found here.

Photos: Anastasia Borrelli
Words proofed by: Tyana Rongonoui

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