Any poor soul who was an active Facebook user back in 2009 or so, would remember with total discomfort and unease the ‘Shoes’ video. This somewhat iconic, but mostly notorious video can only be described as a poor man’s niche porno and centred on one man’s passion for shoes, or total dislike for being a relatively balanced human being. Regardless of his ease at making the inhabitants of the internet universally uncomfortable, the man just loved his shoes. I can respect that, although many of the stompers featured in his music clip were more Degrassi High than cute.

I have vivid, very secret dreams of being an overnight YouTube shoe loving sensation and recently, with thanks to these bad boys, my dreams seem to be closer than ever. There is really not much need for breaking down how bloody brilliant these mules so I won’t ruin your brains with a lacklustre description but I will say, not only am I exceedingly proud to own these shoes, but beamingly proud to have spent the last half an hour of my life writing about the ‘Shoes’ video.

Wearing: Ellery ‘Saxony’ mules, Dion Lee blazer, Acne Studios shirt dress
Photos: Anastasia Borrelli